I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
