Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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