We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
this boner is exhausting
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
