When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
