You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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