Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize