i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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