Yo dont text me then not text me
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
