Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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