just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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