Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
