I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
