It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
