Don't you send me to vm
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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