someone threw a dead crab at me
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
All of them.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.