You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.