Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.