the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.