Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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