tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
