we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
