Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
