Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
