med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
