Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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