I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
