i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
