i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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