At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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