how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
