When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
