So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
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What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
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we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
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