You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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