He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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