Quick, to the slutcave!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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