OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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