Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
