I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
well you can't waste a boner
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
