dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
