As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
