Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
