go do what you do best...puke behind churches
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
