The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
