he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
