we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
