We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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