He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
