Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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