stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Randomize
