I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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