This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
