You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize