Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize