You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize