he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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