Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
