Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
