the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
