Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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