Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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