We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
