I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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