You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
