Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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