Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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