Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
