he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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